Becoming Amy
by Penelope Louise
Summary: Amy begins asking too many questions, in the Doctor's opinion. Amy/11.
1. Realize

_**A/N: This is my first ever DW fic, so please excuse me for errors in characterization and canon!**_

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"Does this place have a wardrobe?" Amy looked around, and gingerly touched her hair. And grimaced. "And a shower?"

The Doctor looked up and grinned. "Straight down there and to the left," he answered, pointing vaguely in the direction she should take, although she was slightly suspicious by the fact that he wasn't actually looking.

"Okay," she headed down one of the 'corridors' that the Doctor's box – he called it a TARDIS, although that meant nothing to her anyway – seemed to have and then turned left. She glanced back at him, his face a picture of mad joy and concentration, although he didn't seem so – she thought for a word to use – hyper, as previously. His bubbly exterior seemed to have been slightly dampened by what had happened earlier. Understandably.

Amy pushed open the door and walked in. Her eyes widened. _How big is this thing? _She wondered, referring to the TARDIS that seemed so small on the outside, yet on the inside… magnificent. She was beginning to agree with the Doctor when he had called it a 'sexy thing.' It was amazing. There was no other word for it.

After starting the shower, locking the door firmly and undressing, she stepped into the warm water and as it covered her skin, removing the Star Whale vomit and food that had been there from her first 'adventure' she began to think about everything. Rory. _Rory. _The boy – a man now – who had always been there for her and had never left her. Even when he knew that he would never be her first choice. He was so kind, so caring, so loving and yet… and yet he had never been _the one. _

Her thoughts went to her day. It had been a day like no other. Realization. Her eyes had been opened to the universe in its entirety; she had travelled through time and space, helped save the human race and – she smiled to herself – all while wearing her nightie. Which admittedly hadn't been the most dignifying this to be wearing.

She washed the disgusting mess from her hair using the shampoo and conditioner that, conveniently, had been already in the shower and pushed open the shower door and reached for a towel. Her waving hand found no towel, yet after a few seconds a soft, warm mass touched her hand. She took it, wrapped in around herself and opened her eyes. And screamed.

"What the?!" she glared at the Doctor, open mouthed. He spun around to face her and stepped back.

"Woah," he looked her up and down.

"Turn around!" she exclaimed and he grinned. "I locked the door! How did you get in?"

"You didn't lock the door," he disagreed with her as he turned around so she faced his back.

"I did. I definitely did. I positively remember doing it!" she didn't move, but just held the towel tightly around herself. "You used your screwdriver-y thing!"

"I wouldn't do a thing like that," the Doctor answered. She couldn't see his face but she would bet her whole life's saving that he was grinning. Probably like a madman.

"Out!" Amy pointed directly at the door even though he couldn't see and promptly stopped pointing so she could hold her towel up with both hands as it threatened to slip. Holding her towel tightly, she pushed him out of the door and shut it firmly behind him. She then locked it and tried to open it. It didn't. "See? Locked!"

"Yeah, yeah," he chuckled and she listened until she heard his footsteps fade.

She looked around and headed towards a pair of wooden doors. She opened them and looked inside.

Her mouth opened into a wide 'O' at the racks and drawers of clothes. She picked out a skirt at random: her size. She returned it, carefully folded. She glanced at the spot where the Doctor had stood and wondered how he knew her clothes size… or the TARDIS knew it. She didn't feel like thinking about it now, her day had been mind-blowing enough already.

She picked out some matching black lace underwear, a short stressed denim miniskirt and a white sweetheart camisole. Dressing quickly, she towel dried her hair and brushed it through a few times until it looked relatively acceptable. She picked out a pair of simple black ballet pumps and slipped her feet into them. Folding the towel neatly over the towel rail, she unlocked the door and walked back the way she had come to return to the Doctor.

"Recovered yet?" she asked, and he spun round to face her.

"Well, hello!" he exclaimed and she rolled her eyes. He smiled at her. "I see you found the wardrobe well enough."

"Apparently I did," she smiled and did a twirl and pretended not to notice the way the Doctor's eyes widened slightly. "So, what's your real name then?"

"I'm the Doctor," he answered and she leaned back on the console next to him.

"No, really," Amy continued. "Name, now."

"No, really. The Doctor," he answered and Amy noted that he was now concentrating very closely on the screen in front of him. Rather than her legs, which had been his eyes' previous concentration spot.

"That's a profession, not a name," Amy replied, crossing her right leg over her left.

"It's all I have," he said, his gaze fixed on the numbers travelling up the screen and his fingers tapping at the keys at a speed that Amy doubted she'd be able to do even if she was just hitting random keys.

"So, your name," she continued. "Is it, like, need to know?"

"Yes, whatever," the Doctor shrugged and looked her straight in the eyes. "And you don't need to know."

His harsh, cold tone surprised her. She had seen him bubbly and crazy, furious and angry, but this was something else. There was something in his voice that she hadn't heard before; something that dared her to ever ask again.

But she would ask again. They both knew that.

Because she was Amy Pond. She was the Girl Who Waited.

She stood up and walked a little way away. Behind her, she heard him move.

"Look, Amelia-" he began but she cut him off.

"My name is Amy. And it's fine," her voice was a reminder to him of the way he had just spoken to her, and he regretted it. He had regretted shouting at her earlier, and threatening to take her home. But he had done it.

She walked off, looking at things as she passed. Amy picked up a framed photo.

"Who are these two?" she asked, turning and almost walking into him. She hadn't realized that he had followed her.

His fingers brushed lightly on the glass covering the faces. "Her name was Rose," he said after a silence.

"And him?" Amy asked, pointing to the dark haired man next to her.

"Me," he replied and she turned to look at him.

"No," she disagreed. "It can't be!"

"It is. You remember when I first met you?" she nodded.

"Of course," Amy grinned and he continued.

"And I said I was 'still cooking?'" he asked and she nodded again. "What happened was… I regenerated. That is what I did look like."

She didn't reply and he guessed that she was still taking it all in.

Finally she spoke.

"So, she was like me?" she looked up at him. The Raggedy Doctor. Her fairytale.

"You are nothing like Rose," the Doctor answered, smiling sadly.

"No, I meant did she travel with you? Like I am?" he nodded and she put the picture down again.

"I see," she said before going silent. He waited. "What happened to her?"

"I lost her," the Doctor replied, and Amy's forehead creased, attempting to understand his vagueness. "We were… separated. I left her. At Bad Wolf Bay."

"Why did you have to leave her?" Amy asked, looking up at him.

"I don't want to talk about it," he said firmly.

"You're going to have to tell me sometime or other," she exclaimed. "Do you expect me to automatically trust you?"

"_I do not have to explain myself to you!" _she almost jumped back at his shout.

"I'm travelling with you, through damn space and time and you expect me to just follow you around?!" She wasn't going to just take it this time.

"YES!" he yelled back and she could feel heated tears pricking at her eyelids. "I should have sent you back to Leadworth!"

"You wouldn't! You need me and you know it!" she shouted the words and before she knew what was happening his lips were on hers and she was responding just as fiercely.

Suddenly, she pushed him away.

"I can't," she whispered. "I can't."

"Why not?" he asked her.

"Because I can't!" Amy exclaimed.

"Why? You're the girl who waited, why?" he couldn't understand her suddenness at pushing him away.

"Because I'm getting married tomorrow!" she yelled.

They froze.

"You… what?" the Doctor asked her. He stared at her. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because… I don't know," she turned away, tears threatening to spill. "Because I didn't want to. Maybe I just didn't want you to know!"

He walked away, silently.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I am."

"There's only one person to blame," he finally looked at her. She waited. "Me."

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A/N: Feedback is much appreciated! I hope you liked the fic!**_


	2. Swimming in the Library

_**A/N: Thank you for reading the last chapter! I hope you enjoy this chapter.**_

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Amy sat in her room that the Doctor had shown her, sitting on the soft duvet cross legged. There was a soft knock on the door and she looked up.

"Can I come in?" she nodded in answer and the Doctor came to sit next to her. She didn't move or flinch or make any sort of reaction when he laid his hand on her leg. "I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to shout."

"But you did," Amy replied, looking up at him. "Some things just can't be taken back like that."

"I know," he moved his hand away, "but I can at least try, right?"

He grinned, some of the Doctor she knew returning. His smile was infectious, and the corners of her mouth couldn't help but tilt upwards.

"Do you want to see something?" he asked mysteriously and she eyed him warily.

"What's something?" she questioned him, and he grinned widely.

"Come and see," the Doctor replied and she rolled her eyes. Standing up, he proffered her a hand. Amy took it, slightly reluctantly, but soon found herself being dragged behind the Doctor. He turned around. "Close your eyes."

"Why should I?" she asked suspiciously and he grinned.

"Just do it," he replied. With a sigh, she shut her eyes and he instantly put his left hand over them too.

"No peeking," he whispered, and she shivered as his warm breath tickled her ear. She tried to keep her breathing regular as he rested his right hand on her waist as he led her forward. Somewhere in front of her, she heard a door open. The Doctor led her forward and she felt him move behind her. Suddenly he removed his hand.

"Oh my," she breathed, looking around her in awe. "This all fits in your little box?"

The Doctor grinned and ran and jumped up onto a bench around a mahogany table.

"Welcome to My Library!" he exclaimed, grinning like a maniac. Amy moved forward slowly, looking around her, trying to take everything in. There were bookshelves and bookshelves and bookshelves of books, reaching so high to an impossibly high ceiling. The Doctor caught her by her waist and swung her up onto the table – she yelped in surprise – before climbing up next to her. She whooped in delight.

"There is a library… in your spaceship!" Amy grinned from ear to ear, all angst of earlier forgotten. For the moment. "You weren't lying fourteen years ago! Wait, where's the swimming pool?"

"Well, that's somewhere else," he replied, swinging her round. Her feet touched the table again and she threw her arms around him to steady herself.

"I thought you said the swimming pool was in the library?" she asked, tilting her head. Their faces were so close that if she moved forward even one centimetre, their lips would touch.

It was exhilarating.

And yet it made her feel so guilty.

"Well," the Doctor continued, not noticing her inner conflict, "because the TARDIS was on its side, the water from the swimming pool ended up in My Library."

"Did the book get damaged?" Amy asked but he shook his head.

"Everything was still cooking, just like me," he replied. "They dried out."

Amy jumped off the table, landing in a crouch that would probably have split most other miniskirts. But, somehow, this one survived. She bounced up and headed over to look at the books.

"So, what have you got in here? Manuals? Encyclopaedias?" Amy turned and grinned at the Doctor but she found herself facing empty space. "Doctor?"

She spun around and came face to face with him. "Don't wander off, we don't want to get separated and you don't want to get lost," he said, at his usual high-speed way of talking. He grabbed her hand and pulled her along.

"I've got fiction, fact, hardcovers, paperbacks, comics – originals too –, diaries (some very famous ones), annuals, scripts, original manuscripts, ancient scrolls, foreign phrase books, adventure books, comedies, plays: including Shakespeare," he listed the types of books, pointing a few out as he went along. Amy stopped and pulled him back.

"No way," she exclaimed, looking up at one book, "the original of Alice in Wonderland?"

He chuckled and picked it off the shelf. "As good as new," he handed it to her with a bow, "for you, ma'am."

"Wow," she breathed, turning the pages carefully.

"You like fairytales, don't you?" he noted. Amy nodded, although she wasn't paying much attention to him anymore.

"I'm in one," she answered after a while, and handed the book back.

"Keep it!" he exclaimed, grinning.

"Oh no, I really couldn't," she pushed the book into his hands and he shrugged, looking slightly sad. "It's just I'd be scared to ruin it or lose it! Anyway, I can't always come in here to look at them, can't I?"

His grin returned. "I suppose you can."

Amy spun around and clapped her hands excitedly.

"So, where this swimming pool I've heard about then?"

He put his arm around her shoulders.

"Got a bikini with you, Pond?" he asked, grinning.

"I'm sure there's one here somewhere," Amy smirked as they exited the Library. The Doctor pulled her along excitedly and dragged her up the mysterious stairs that she had noticed earlier. They reached the top and she stopped.

He looked at her. "What?"

"I thought you were joking!" she exclaimed, staring at the blue waters below.

"Me? No," he grinned and grabbed her waist. "GERONIMO!"

"AGH!" Amy screamed as he jumped and they hit the water with an enormous splash.

She sunk under, the water covering her head and getting in her mouth, nose and ears. The water stung her eyes and her hair billowed out in the water. In front of her she could see the Doctor, still grinning at her madly. His arms were still around her and their faces were so close that the bubbles as they both breathed out went together.

The Doctor's feet reached the bottom of the pool first, and he pushed them back up towards the surface.

As her head broke the surface she drew in a large breath and used a hand to remove some of the water from her face.

"You!" she exclaimed, glaring at him. "I only just put these on!"

"Oh, there's more where that came from," he grinned and then smirked, raising his eyebrows.

"What?" she narrowed her eyes and followed his gaze towards her top. "Oh, crap."

The white camisole that she had put on earlier had turned translucent in the water, sticking tightly to her body and revealing the underwear underneath.

"Black lace," the Doctor said, "you bad girl, Amy."

Amy moved closer to the Doctor, ignoring the voice of her conscience in the back of her mind. _You're getting married. You're getting married to Rory. You are cheating on Rory. _The Doctor ran his hand through his hair and she chuckled as it stood up on end.

"I can't," Amy whispered, "I can't…"

Her voice trailed off as she unconsciously moved closer to the Doctor. She was close enough to feel his breath on her face. He stared at her and it seemed as if his eyes could see right into her soul. She felt transparent to him.

She tilted her head and moved towards him. Their lips met and this time she didn't pull away.

Amy knew that she would also feel guilty about kissing the Doctor.

She would regret betraying Rory forever.

But she would never, ever forget it.

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A/N: Feedback is appreciated! Thanks, and I hope you enjoyed reading!**_


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